MILITARY ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOLS

Military protocols basically refer to the practice of customs that define who does what, where, and when. Etiquette tends to refer to class behaviors. You want to observe proper military protocols as well as project an image of high class behavior.

Some of the major protocols include the following:

Relationship Protocols:

  • Names: Do not address any outranking person by their first name unless invited to do so. The same rule applies to addressing spouses.

  • Parties/dinners: When attending a party or dinner at someone's home, observe these do's and don'ts:

    • Always R.S.V.P. if required.
    • When you R.S.V.P., offer to bring something.
    • Take flowers, chocolates, wine, or homemade food (cookies, etc.).
    • Don't gossip.
    • Don't engage doctors or lawyers in conversations for free health or legal advice.
    • Avoid discussing controversial or sensitive subjects.
    • Always find the host and hostess to say goodbye.
    • Send a personal thank-you note for being invited.

  • Formal events: When attending formal events, be sure to observe these do's and don'ts:

    • Take toasting cues from the toastmaster.
    • Never toast yourself.
    • Do not leave your seat during speeches or retiring of the Colors.

  • Addresses:

    • Address officers by their titles and last names.
    • Address doctors and chaplains by title - "doctor" and "chaplain."
    • Army, Air Force, and Marines: unless a Lt. Col. or above, use rank and name.
    • Navy:

      • Address officers and petty officers by titles and last names.
      • Unless a captain or above, use rank and last name.
      • Address an apprentice as "seaman," "fireman," etc.

  • Thank-you notes:

    • Follow up dinner invitations with a thank-you note.
    • Always send a thank-you note anytime someone does something special for you.

  • Fraternization:

    • Know your service rules that prohibit fraternization between enlisted personnel and officers.

Dress Protocol

Military members and spouses should always know their dress protocol:

  • Formal ball:

    • Women: formal gown
    • Men: tuxedo

  • Dining Out or Mess Night:

    • Women: fancy cocktail dress or formal gown
    • Men: tuxedo or dark suit and tie

  • Change of Command or Hail and Farewell Party:

    • Women: evening dress
    • Men: dark suit and tie

  • Dinner at CO's (or equivalent):

    • Women: dress, slacks (nice), something you would wear to church
    • Men: ask hostess - coat and tie may be required

  • Command Picnic or Potluck:

    • Women: conservative bathing suit attire - bring a cover-up
    • Men: golf shirt and shorts, casual shoes

  • Spouse Meeting:

    • Women: slacks, skirt, casual top
    • Men: slacks (khaki), sport shirt

For more information on military etiquette and protocol, check out the following website:

www.bealespouses.com/AirForce101/Protocol.pdf

The following books on military etiquette also provide invaluable information on military protocols:

  • A Civilian's Guide to the U.S. Military
  • Protocol: The Complete Handbook of Diplomatic, Official, and Social Usage
  • Service Etiquette
  • Today's Military Wife

The following books on etiquette in general, including advice on raising children with proper manners, should also prove useful:

  • Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette
  • The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette
  • Emily Post's Etiquette
  • Emily Post's The Gift of Good Manners: A Parent's Guide to Raising Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children
  • The Etiquette Edge
  • Etiquette for Dummies
  • Essential Manners for Men
  • How Rude! The Teenagers' Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out
  • Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette
  • Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior

 

SOURCE: Adapted from Trudy S. Woodring and Ronald L. Krannich, Ph.D., The Military Spouse's Map Through the Maze Pocket Guide (Manassas Park: Impact Publications), pages 41-43. Copyright 2009. All rights reserved. Copying strictly forbidden.